I’m a 25 year old teacher teaching at boys school & I have colleagues younger than me. I caught one of my students telling her he wanted her as his teacher instead & it hurt my feelings. They compliment her a lot. It makes me jealous. What do I do?

They like her teaching style better than yours?

You’re 25 and your colleague is younger. I’m guessing your colleague is unlikely to be younger than 22. Trust me, the students won’t be seeing that 3 year gap. In their eyes you’re equally ‘old’ (‘young’ when they’re trying to flatter you).

Teachers, despite the movies, aren’t actually there to be loved by their students. It’s not your purpose. You are there to teach, to guide to mentor and support their learning. That’s it.

Why does my sister want to have sex with me? What should I do?

Why are you jealous?

She’s focused on friendship/likeability rather than teaching?

They’re crushing on her instead of you?

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Good teachers treat their students with respect, modelling healthy human relationships and appropriate professional relationships. You can be kind, compassionate and empathetic at the same time but ultimately you’re the adult here. Encouraging a crush is unhealthy and an abuse of power. Never do this.

There could be many reasons students prefer one teacher over another, and their preferences change given the subject you teach, your pedagogy, your personality, school rules, their age, their ambitions etc etc. Children can be fickle in their affections, so it’s pointless focusing on how much they seem to like you today compared with yesterday.

If your jealousy stems from self doubt and the belief that she’s a better teacher, despite you being older and possibly more experienced, spend time finding out what she does that seems to deliver better results or higher engagement. Are these things you can do? The best teachers have a broad range of strategies they can use to motivate, interest and engage students. They spend their career adding new ideas to their ‘toolbox’. Give yourself time.

I'm looking for an answer from people who consider themselves "Gender Critical", or transphobic, or TERFs, and my question is this - Why would you refuse to use the pronouns someone wants? What does it cost you? Where's the harm?